Disease or Not Disease - That shouldn’t be the question.

As my interest in becoming involved in the field of substance recovery spiked, I began discussing my ideas with a past user, who in present day is an active participant in AA (let us call her Amy). I spoke of my personal experience, how I went from overindulging, mainly with alcohol, to drinking moderately. I spoke of my experience in retrospect, I had come from believing that I suffered from something that I couldn’t control, to having what I see as full control. I was an alcoholic, I am not an alcoholic now. Unimaginable in common speak; impossible.

I was no stranger to the discourse of disease (for a long time I lived my life by it) but I never truly considered what it meant for alcoholism to be labeled a disease, until my conversation with this past user. She stated what wasn’t present for me before (not word for word, but quotes for simplicity), “My brain is wired differently, the brain of an addict functions differently than a normal brain.” We are talking neural synapses here; I had ignored actual structure in the discourse of disease. Reality hit, so I dove into research. I read books, enrolled myself in an online course titled, “The Addicted Brain,” and I tried hard, to make sense for myself, this idea of having a brain of an addict.

What I got from my research, and my discussions, was that the dialogue of disease works for some and not for others. Period. For Amy, the acceptance of that reality allows her to make the choice most beneficial to her; the ultimate choice is absolute sobriety. She finds power in this choice, and acceptance in her inability to have just one drink. Bottom line, she recognizes what factors impact her choice and she uses those factors in a way that suit her. For me, an acceptance of altered neural synopses brings me back to excusable behavior. Are my synopses an explanation for my profound relationship with alcohol? Yes, maybe, I am just now considering it. If I was told, for a fact, that my brain is wired differently in regards to substances when I was in the depths of my substance abuse, the acceptance of this reality would not suit me. I would find myself powerless to a synaptic connection, I may fall victim to a disease. It suits me to recognize my choice in the matter prior to one drink, and one drink in, regardless of my neural structure. We may have the same reality, but we accept and choose to handle that reality differently; both with power in ultimate result.

Here is where the name of the project, “Choice Over Disease” can use a little explaining. The name is not intended to deny or eliminate the idea of substance abuse being a disease, it is not a denial of brain chemistry, or genetic factors. It is a stand for choice, despite those factors, despite disease. If we approach substance abuse, from one strict discourse, we leave a large portion of the population unattended to. If we fight so hard to make sure that everyone gets on board to being powerless to a disease, we lose all of those that simply, wont. Those who refuse to admit that they are powerless to a disease are not delusional, they just frame their reality in a different way. We can give them the boot, or help them in a way that they will allow themselves to be helped. This may lead them to moderation, or it may lead them to complete abstinence, either way, they are led to progress.