Piece of my mind

There’s that piece of my mind,
I’ve been trying to drowned it.
But it’s never enough,
I’m so ashamed that I’ve found it.

It’s running the show,
Even though I know it’s not me.
Give me a rod and a hammer,
I just want to be free.

And what’s written above,
I know it’s been comical.
But I’m not kidding anymore,
The peace would be phenomenal.

So I’d wake up and we’re worried,
That I wouldn’t be me.
But who is I, who is you,
If there’s no self to be.

This body, I think,
It’s just meant to confuse us.
Like this skin and these bones,
Set up to abuse us.

I’ve been trapped all my life,
By a skull I can’t break.
I just want to flow out,
And I’ve put my life at stake.

What is this skull?
But a collection of matter.
Why have I set up my life there?
Living like the Mad Hatter.

I beg for release,
But I’m the only one listening.
I tear at the walls,
Blood always glistening.

They’re worried about me,
But I won’t take their pills.
They say it’s temporary,
But I’m addicted to thrills.

I don’t trust myself,
Like, what if I’m normal?
But I worked myself up,
And made this illusion all formal.

So I sit in her office,
My words bouncing off the walls.
She asks me more questions,
I find more ways to stall.

I don’t even know what I’m talking about,
My feet glued to her floor.
I tell her it’s so fucked up in my head,
But I present well,
The second I walk through her door.

I’m so good with words,
And I’ve made it this far.
But it’s been a treacherous trip,
Pushing my mind up the hill,
Like a broken down car.

Sure I’m functioning,
But spend a day in my shoes.
Feel your teeth clench,
You only have your mind to lose.

And it’s the dumbest shit,
That starts making me panic.
Which way should I go?
I break down like a manic.

And the sounds through the walls,
I can never tune out.
I’ve caught myself rocking back and forth,
That’s when I feel crazy, no doubt.

I imagine the scene,
And the tears burn in my eyes.
The frustration builds up,
In this body, that’s keeping me trapped inside.

For sure they should worry,
But I won’t take their pills.
Give me mountains and speed,
I’m addicted to thrills.