The Dark Cellar

It took me to the sky,
A teaser.
Then it let me fall.

I fell through the ground.
Arms up, legs up,
Trying to grasp for a hold,
Anything,
So I wouldn’t lose myself.

But I lost myself.

It was dark there.
Doors.
Voices.
I didn’t know who to trust.

And if you fall in once,
It’s like the gates remain open.
And they call me all of the time.

My body,
No longer flaying for a hold.
My body,
Restfully falling,
To that familiar place.

A lazy battle.
A dropped head search,
Looking for a ladder.

She sat there,
Telling me,
Everything was gone.
Everything protecting her from that place,
That search for herself.
And how terrifying,
Not knowing who you are.

I listened,
And watched the snake exit my mouth.
No one is, someone.
There is no search, no core,
To who we are.

We are what we say.
We choose.
As the sun brings the day.

And one day I said,
I will fall into darkness.
One day I said,
I will be lost.
Looking for a way out,
Of that damp cellar.

The snake,
Wrapped around my throat.
Choking,
Stealing my air,
It asked,
“So why, why do you suffer?”

“Why do you sit in that dark cellar,
Searching for the ladder,
While building higher walls?”

I don’t know,
I said,
I don’t know.

It’s because here,
I thought is where purpose came from.
But purpose showed up,
In the light of day.
And I know,
Because I was there,
Because I created it.

But still I rent space,
In that dark cellar.
Why?
I do not know.
But here I sit.