What I Learned by 27

You don’t hate cooking. It’s just that, like most things, you like to do it in solitude, with music filling quiet spaces.

It’s totally cool that most days, you’d rather spend your days with books than with people. But remember, people wrote those books, so make time for them too.

Always buy a round trip ticket for business. Or you’ll pay for it in the end.

You may always be the one to hold on tighter, communicate more often, and fight to not let go. Stop looking at this as a curse; your desire for connection is a blessing.

Be more flexible. Or…be flexible. A change of plans is not the universe’s way of giving you the middle finger, it’s a change of plans.

Maybe not everyBODY is meant to be vegetarian. That doesn’t make you a terrible person, just as they aren’t terrible people. The best you can do now is shop mindfully, and be grateful for every animal that feeds you.

There are some things you shouldn’t be so worried about being frugal with. Mainly, the food you put in your body. Pay the farmers now, or pay the doctors later. Currently you’re paying both. Be proud that you invested.

It’s amazing that you value your health. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone who values theirs too. Stop telling yourself you’re shallow; you know what you want.

You can’t help who you love, or who loves you back. Just like they can’t help who they love. Stop making this mean something about you.

It’s not all about you. This is a good thing.

Stop adding oil to the pan before cooking bacon. Seriously. Stop.

Coconut oil is the best shit to ever hit the kitchen, and your hands, face, and body. It’s okay to fall into this craze.

You can’t change your father. You also can’t change yourself to make him comfortable around you. You are merely an example of a different way of being. Hold onto that, the night he told you he loved you was the night you brought light into a dark house and let it shine on his suffering, and his words. You heard him for the first time without trying to change him. Remember that night forever. Remember that hug, your tears, and his love.

You can’t change your family. But you can be an example of what it looks like to be human; emotions and all.

Never tell your nephew it’s not okay for boys to cry, or for adults to cry.

Always tell him you love him so he doesn’t grow up thinking these words aren’t okay.

Listen to your body. You’re the one that caused it pain. Relief will also only come from your actions.

Drink more water.

Always say goodbye to the dead/dying. Meditate in their space. You may not believe in God, but you believe in peace. Help them go peacefully.

Spend more time with your grandma. It took you a really long time (on her end a broken hip and a solo room in a nursing home) to recognize she is one of the loveliest humans you know. Cherish your time with her, read with her, and listen to her stories. One day this will be gone; milk it while you can.

Don’t panic when she asks you when you’re getting married, or tells you she’s giving you one year. Don’t rush these things…27 is still young (fuck I hope so).

Give your knowledge freely. Don’t be selfish with your experience or your expertise. You got into this to help, so keep helping.

Don’t ever lock up your creativity again. Share your art, your words. Perform without hesitation. Dimming your light doesn’t allow others to shine through. Instead, it teaches others to choke down their secret selves. Don’t let your self be secret.

Meditate. Experience not being your thoughts. You’ve been living like your thoughts are all that exist. This has never been true. Prove it.

Do not expect your creativity to support you. Do everything to always support your creativity.

Get your work published. Just because.

You will probably make the same mistake twice, or three times, or more. Stop dwelling though. You don’t know what you’ll miss while you’re fighting yourself.

Stop fighting yourself.

You may never just settle for a partner, or a career, or anything. Accept this part of yourself. You seek progress, challenge, and worth. There’s nothing wrong with moving forward.

There’s nothing wrong with staying either. Both will teach you.

Remember you can learn from everyone around you, as long as you get off of your high horse. It’s not even real, and one day it will break under your weight.

Get counseling when you need it. Sometimes you need someone to tell you to be nice to yourself. Because most of the time you’re a ruthless asshole.

Stop being a ruthless asshole most of the time.

Never feel like you HAVE to wear make-up. Go days, weeks, months, with a naked face. Feeling beautiful without being hidden is more empowering, and freeing, than you imagined.

But give yourself permission to wear that bold lipstick when you feel like it.

Don’t suppress yourself to make them feel comfortable. Perform your poetry at dinner on your birthday even if you fear your brothers’ ears. Let them hear you speak; your truth may one day bring theirs to the surface.

See the important things through to completion. Completion looks different for different important things.

Whether you end up in a tiny house or not, continue to embrace minimalism. There is freedom in knowing what you own and not being surprised with what’s taking up space and owning you. Keep what make you happy, let go of your fantasy self. Support progress, not attachment.

Keep your space clean and clutter-free. It impacts your mind more than you know.

If you buy something new, let something old go.

You may always over-analyze and spend time in your head. Don’t let this stop you from participating in the present moment.

Don’t judge your father for believing in God. That man needs to find peace where he can. Show him peace can be found anywhere, just as his God.

Buy the concert tickets. Immediately. Or you’ll end up paying twice the amount for the same show. Pay it anyway if you have to, it may be one of the best concerts you’ve ever been to.

Don’t make every decision so fucking significant. Stop wasting energy on what ifs. You can’t think your way to happiness; sometimes you need to jump.

Don’t listen to everyone’s opinion as fact. Remember when he told you you were an alcoholic, delusional, and when you hit your lowest low you’d know? Good job recognizing that his truth wasn’t your own, and vice versa. Introspection is valuable as long as you create form it.

Keep creating your truth.

Always carry a book in your purse. So if you’re caught waiting, it isn’t time wasted. If you forgot your book, meditate. Time never has to be wasted.

You may get more parking tickets in your life. Despite what you make up in your head about whose fault it is…in the end it’s yours. Pay up and forget about it. Stop hoping to get lucky, and follow the signs. Be grateful for every time, though you sure as hell don’t want to pay, you can afford to.

Always keep cash in your car. Give to those holding a sign. Don’t worry about where that money will go, or if they really need it. They’re standing there and not you; they need that money more than your car.

Your dad may never praise your work. He never has. That doesn’t give you free reign to be an asshole to your dad. He’s the reason all of your work has ever been made possible.