The Sun Fell

The sun fell for the moon
but it seemed the timing was wrong.
Heat sinking into land
they all aligned to say goodbye
and he arrived to light the darkening sky
but it was always
too late.

I am reminded of how he said I was his light
we
a perfect balance
but always on separate pages
me
grateful to at least be reading the same book.

I asked if I could paint for him
he wanted dark
I think how that’s all I know
but am stopped
in crossing a boundary that we never made clear.
Afraid it may be
too much this time
and so I’ve learned to keep quiet
to keep art close to my bones
until it explodes.

He says, “poor thing,”
he worries about how long I let myself suffer
he says, “come to me sooner,”
but I’m always afraid I’ll bring darkness he doesn’t want
to hang on the bare walls of his apartment

When I feel the loneliest
I turn my phone off so I can pretend
there is real reason.
I call only when I’ve found it
wrapped my words around it
until I can sound like
I’ve gotten it all worked out.

But I’ve ruined his day this way
I apologize for the wait and pretend
it won’t happen again.
But it seems like I am not in charge of making promises.

He says he’s okay
it hasn’t really gotten him.
I’m afraid of the day
that it will.