Infested

It’s made of silence.
The silence
that filled our house
fills our house
on days we
just can’t seem to pretend
that shallow
questions
and silly lies
are enough
to say
in passing.

It’s made of silence
that comes up
on days
I come up
off the wrong
side
of the bed
and I can’t tell you
that I hate this
life
sometimes.
Sometimes
I hate
this life.

For you though
I lay shallow bricks
of unspoken words
to build
hollow relationships
that allow me
to simply
get by.

Get by you
as you enter
the kitchen
get by you
as you walk
to exit
the house
get by you as you
wander through life
as if
it came upon you
and the stillness
of your face
is not
of your doing.

I’ll get by you.

And all I need
is to say to you
things
that may fill you.
I fear your silence though
and that maybe
you just won’t
take in
what I
put out.

And what if you
choke on
words
that could
kill us.

To create destruction
in a
destructed
house.
The mess
we will make.

And all I have
is a full soul
craving
your hunger.

Eat me up
and spit me out
but say something
for once
say something.
Speak of love
of patience
of hurt.
We are all
merely
hurt.

And silence
will not mask
these wounds
forever
as silence
is a worm
set to rip
wounds
further
apart.

How we’ve
already
been torn.
And now,
look at
the infestation.

And they eat us
up
and spit us out
and we all land
in different directions.

We don’t know
how we got here
and we point our fingers
from our own
muddied perceptions.

How the worms collect
on decaying corpses.
Watch how we
only gather
around lifeless bodies.
Placing blood
six feet under.
And how we
don’t have to
travel far
to visit
a dying
family.

We are
infested
being eaten
alive
from the inside
out
and you tell me
to let it go
to brush it off
but the worms
will not leave me.
They attack
every word
I swallow
and I’m
losing myself.

So I must eat me up
and spit me out.
And I’ll land in different directions.
And put myself together
through
muddied perceptions.
And you will not see
the reconstruction
for these thick walls
create quite the
obstruction.

But I’ll be back for you.
When I am
cleansed
of this infestation.
I’ll be back for you
when I have escaped this
game
of imitation.
I’ll be back for you.